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Partners & Spouses

Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships

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Wholesome and Poisonous Combos of Compatibility and Chemistry

Sadly, compatibility and chemistry don’t all the time happen collectively.

A relationship with excessive compatibility however little chemistry is more likely to be a boring but comfy collection of conferences and conversations. It will likely be a dry and boring affair till each events merely cease caring and drift aside, or they consummate their mutual comfort by getting married and discover themselves in a lifetime of uncomplicated and (usually) asexual companionship. Sadly, this association isn’t unusual.

Chemistry with out compatibility, then again, normally results in catastrophe.4 Typically it may be so simple as not residing in the identical a part of the world, however usually it’s much more difficult than that.

When two persons are utterly incompatible, their habits turns into utterly irrational. Too usually, two incompatible individuals provoke a cycle of mutual emotional immolation, spiraling by means of love/hate cycles collectively on the velocity of life.

Individuals discover themselves saying issues like, “I don’t care if he’s married to a convicted felon, we’re meant to be collectively,” or “Look, I do know she faked being pregnant to get me to suggest to her, however , it could simply be destiny, proper?” In the meantime, associates stare, jaws agape, uncertain whether or not to threat the backlash by attempting to snap them out of it or to feign help whereas their love-blind torture sufferer pal continues to spin helpless and deluded in a twister of affection.


Excessive ranges of chemistry with main incompatibilities is unhealthy information. Actually unhealthy information.

These relationships normally start shortly and passionately, exploding like a geyser, earlier than dying down simply as shortly because it erupted. This tends to occur when logic kicks in and when actuality makes itself recognized. Immediately, you notice how fucking offensive you discover one another, however getting out of such a relationship is simpler mentioned than carried out. Your coronary heart says sure, however your head says no. And you then persuade your head to say sure, which in flip makes your coronary heart say no.

At this level, your choice making normally defaults to your genitals—regardless that their observe document for choice making is about pretty much as good as a drunk third-grader’s—which solely results in embarrassing public arguments, unpaid drink tabs, thrown iPhones, modified locks, unanswered telephone calls, tear-ridden voicemails, and the sterile inside of a clinic, or for those who’re fortunate, an oh-god-please-don’t-give-me-a-false-positive-you-piece-of-shit-$9.99-pregnancy-test-from-a-7/11 expertise, which is assured to problem anybody’s sanity.

After which there you’re (wherever you go, as they are saying), and you end up jobless with two one-way tickets to Bermuda that have been by no means used, six stitches, slashed automobile tires, and a shattered cellphone. However at the least that psycho is fucking gone (regardless that you continue to kinda miss them). The expertise is vicious but thrilling, and can by no means allow you to neglect that we’re, in spite of everything, animals.

Not that I’m talking from private expertise or something. Nope. Nothing to see right here. Transfer alongside.

The chemistry and compatibility matrix

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